Category Archives: humourous

December @outshine Prose Poems—humourous

December 5:

Sick of my ZiPod bleating
with all its texts and tweeting
I spin wild and free
On the windmills by the sea.

[Bio] Eva Chapman loves to have fun. www.is.gd.fTIP .

December 12:

When AI was incorporated into the surveillance cameras, they became more interested in watching each other. They left the rest of us alone.

[Bio] Jonathan Pinnock ( @jonpinnock, http://www.jonathanpinnock.com/ ) is. For the time being, at any rate.

December 19:

Alas! Mine heart doth beateth no more.
Yea, I liveth on, thy grateful cyborg.

[Bio] Beth Katte @bethblackbird fancies futuristic antiquities. http://www.bethkatte.com/ .

December 26:

While Owen’s back was turned, Zoe clicked the ArouzalCard into the port behind her left ear. Why wouldn’t I be in the mood tonight, my love?

[Bio] Bobbie Laughman lives, writes and feigns normalcy in Gettysburg, PA http://tinyurl.com/ydztbnd .

November @outshine prose poems—humourus

November 7:

It was spring and his basement was drying up. Last night, just two feet of water on the floor. A man can’t even stay wet in his own home…

[Bio] Marlo Dianne is a writer/artist of more than fifty published works. This wondergeek is found @ http://www.forbiddendragon.blogspot.com.

November 14:

I’d never felt so close to a pet, never felt the need to boast about a pet, and I’m not even fully dilated yet… can you see her head?

[Bio] Engineerish writer lost near Austin.

November 21:

News from CERN: smallest subatomic particles found, massless, information only. + & –: binary code. Neat. I yawned, returned to my Sims game

[Bio] William Clunie can be read at http://www.pemmicanpress.com/.

November 28:

Starship Magellan to Mission Control on Pluto: If angels are in the architecture, how do we get this one out of our FTL drive?

[Bio] Paula R. Stiles, at: http://is.gd/kLAu, has sold SF, fantasy and horror stories to Strange Horizons, Jim Baen’s, Futures and others.

October @outshine prose poems—humourous

October 3:

It’s 2034: Brian’s nanocure, immortality, and ecosystem resurrection stories keep getting rejected from Asimov’s for lacking SFnal elements.

[Bio] Jen Waverly wants an ecosystem resurrector, and posts about pub trivia, marriage rights, and books here http://is.gd/3lVBE .

October 10:

The Martians came.
Reviled by germs,
they left the world
on talking terms.
A Christmas card
from Leader Zirth?
At least it did-
n’t cost the Earth!

[Bio] I’m 40, married and live in Plymouth, England. Writing is my main hobby. Quite a number of my poems/stories have been published.

October 17:

Engine’s protesting, sir. Says it wants a pony. Shall I tell the passengers to wait, or…?

[Bio] Carolyn Elizabeth Lamb can fold into a portable cube, for your convenience.

October 24:

It’s a strange week when you’re thinking, ‘trenchcoats or atomic insects? Wait, is that trenchcoats ON atomic insects?’ I love my job.

[Bio] Marlo Dianne is a writer/artist of more than fifty published works. This wondergeek is found @ http://www.forbiddendragon.blogspot.com .

October 31:

The climbing guide could tell Harper’s arm was flagging. The whisper at camp was: could he pull it off and grow a good one by morning?

[Bio] @jeremylewit enjoys the conceit that his focus problem is early-onset time travel. http://jeremylewit.blogspot.com/ .

September @outshine prose poems—humourous

September 5:

They give her a galactic library ticket. She screams as she reads the rollercoaster of xeno-philosopy. It’s the ride of Earth’s life.

[Bio] After a twenty year period of procrastination Deborah Walker has, finally, started writing.

September 12:

Disaster! Can’t take Granddad anywhere. He got his toupee caught in the beach umbrella’s solar fan. That’s broken; we’re baking; he’s bald!

[Bio] Eva Chapman loves to have fun. http://is.gd/6jeiO .

September 19:

Definition of futility: chasing ruby-goldfish that burst out of a waterfall, sail across the greenhouse, enter another. Damn microgravity.

[Bio] Paula R. Stiles, at: http://is.gd/kLAu, has sold SF, fantasy and horror stories to Strange Horizons, Jim Baen’s, Futures and others.

September 26:

Sand crunches beneath their feet, and the sun warms their gray skin. They gawk at the pyramids. “Looks like someone was here first.”

[Bio] Aurelio Rico Lopez III hails from the Philippines. He is an avid fan of all things weird.

August @outshine prose poems—humourous

August 1:

The cybercat on metal paws stalks cyber-savvy prey. The übermouse’s EMP, though, lets it slip away. A better mouse: the lab’s cause célèbre.

[Bio] Cliff Winnig (@winnig) writes and plays sitar. He has stories in the Cinema Spec & Footprints anthologies. http://www.cliffwinnig.com.

August 8:

Professor Jim Burns, retired head of immortalRwe, turned to his teary wife at his hospital bedside, “I should have spent more time at work.”

[Bio] @meika loofs samorzewski no longer writes for humans and lives in Tasmania http://meika.loofs-samorzewski.com/ .

August 15:

I was in Cleveland the day the net woke up. We reasoned, threatened, finally begged, but could not stop it from worshipping us.

[Bio] @jonrock writes from Michigan. He fears Rickrolling and Nannerpus will anger the awakened net. http://is.gd/1tFcs .

August 22:

Men gathered at the new distillery. Smiling, they filled their glasses. Sunlight glinted through the windows as Earth hung low in the sky.

[Bio] William Wood lives in an old farmhouse in the Blue Ridge Mountains with an understanding family. He often writes instead of sleeping.

August 29:

Reverse in works only. Good no machine travel time. Reference future for self to note.

[Bio] Paula R. Stiles, at: http://is.gd/kLAu, has sold SF, fantasy and horror stories to Strange Horizons, Jim Baen’s, Futures and others.

July @outshine prose poems—humourous

July 4:

“How far does it go?” she asked as we fell through the subspace burrow. I shrugged apologetically: “Theoretically, forever.”

[Bio] Gareth’s stories have appeared in 20 mags and 10 languages. He drinks lots of tea. http://www.garethdjones.co.uk/ .

July 11:

They called Bill crazy for downloading his consciousness into a video game, but he wanted to spend more time with his kids.

[Bio] If you can catch Matthew Sanborn Smith early enough in the day, he smells rather nice. http://is.gd/ov1z .

July 18:

For three months, my android’s gone to school for me, dated my girlfriend and done my chores. Nobody’s noticed. Now to make my sister’s.

[Bio] @ficklefiction is actually @fickledeity. Just your average Sri Lankan girl with dreams of changing the world for the better.

July 25:

The sun is bright

the air is free

the Martian men

don’t bother me.

The soil is red

the sky is wide

I’m proud to be

a Martian bride.

[Bio] Amanda Davis is a Pittsburgh engineer with a green thumb and a taste for horror movies. She blogs at http://tinyurl.com/ddvpvj .

June @outshine prose poems—humourous

June 7:

A cryogenics capsule malfunctioned. The body was crammed into another’s tank. An icy embrace, the couple was together again.

[Bio] Peter Keller is a hemophiliac on the cutting edge of twitterfiction. http://twitter.com/wordshiv .

June 14:

Single 500 yr old Martian seeks Single Earth Female 18-32, for alien abduction and impregnation roleplay. No cold or flu carriers.

[Bio] Paula R. Stiles, at: http://is.gd/kLAu, has sold SF, fantasy and horror stories to Strange Horizons, Jim Baen’s, Futures and others.

June 21:

Dad’s alive again — simulated from memories fed into a machine. He’s happy: 404 errors are rare and he can claim he’s younger than me.

[Bio] Aaron is currently traveling the world and writing on planes, trains and buses. He’s forgotten that he ever lived any other way.

June 28:

Blasted alien technology! Mary sighed and prepared for a day of déjà vu, after accidentally setting her new alarm clock to yesterday.

[Bio] Bio Deborah Walker can often be found in the British Museum nicking ideas from ancient cultures.